Sunday Practice 11/4

Ok so my least favorite activity is back to back practices. Maybe it is just because I am getting old and do not recover as well as when I was younger. Practice started at 11am. Sir Brendan in attendance with three other unbelted fighters. Sir Duncan and Sir Rorik showed up with Clan Cairn later in day. I made new sword prior to practice that was 38 inches no thrust and had a good weight to it. No Kaz due to illness (A fact that would irritate me later in the day.) Victory conditions were throw flat snap, practice winning and own what I am good at when I get tired. I decided to work on the conditions in phases of the practice. To start practice I would work on flat snap. Then mid practice work on winning fights. At end when I was tired I would focus on owning the offside. Observations as follows:

1. Flat Snap - I Fucking did it! I threw not just one but multiple flat snaps for kills! I hit every fighter with at least one flat snap. I even hit Brendan with a flat snap as a lead blow. I established range at top of B and bottom of C by shifting my feet then just threw it over the corner of his shield. No pump fakes no time changes just a flat snap off the shoulder. It was crisp and hard and effortless. I think Thorin's advice on rotation point is what made the difference. Not sure who was more shocked Brendan or myself. After this I was able to throw the flat snap for kills on the other fighters at the practice. Not all my snaps were flat and I am still wrestling with mechanics but now I know I can do it and I know how it feels. What pisses me off is that Kaz was not there and I had not taped so now I have to listen to his shit for at least another week. Not even going to let him know I did it. He will just claim I have no evidence and it is convenient that my break through came when I have no ability to verify. I am so going to bury a stick in his head when he get back on the field.
2. Practicing winning - I got this from conversation with Thorin, Sean and Lucan. I am not confident in my abilities as a fighter. I am scared of losing. Doubt about my fighting and losing constantly stalk my thoughts. In order to get over this I need to get more confident and practice winning. I have decided that I am going to select portions of practice when I decide I am going to not lose fights. I am going to fight to win. During these times I am going to focus on winning the fight. I want to be able to have confidence that I can summon up my best fight on command. To do this I need to practice doing it. I felt I did a good job of doing this on Sunday. I still had several lapses where I had mental or physical errors that led to stupid deaths. Need to work on this more. I may have this mislabeled as practicing to win.... wins and losses really did not mean anything. Once I got started it was more about the quality of my fight. I even noticed I would win a fight and classify it as a fail because I did not feel I was properly executing or that I got lucky. I also really only got frustrated when I lost if I thought I had made an error in judgment or focus. Focusing on winning the fight was just the trigger that created the environment that called up the doubts I am trying to deal with. I think the best time to practice this focus is during meat grinders. That way I get a lot of opponents and there is a clear penalty for losing.
3. Owning the offside - This idea came from conversation with Thorin the night before. He mentioned that there is value in being know for being good at something. He described it as that factor where everybody knows you can hit them with a blow and they start doing things as a result to offset that advantage. He also mentioned that when you get tired this should be the thing you fall back on because you will do it right and it is easy. Clearly for me that is the offside head and leg. I have always thrown that for success. Davin even commented on Saturday "that for +20 years I have known you are going to hit me with that blow and yet you still do it." Based on that as I tired I focused on the offside. I had a lot of success and it felt good to embrace what I did well rather then feeling guilty about throwing it.

Over all I enjoyed practice. I think I accomplished my goals. I feel like I have a lot of work to do but this is probably the first practice since returning from knee injury that I have felt good about the work I did. I really enjoyed the 38inch sword. I am going to lock that from here on out and stop playing with other lengths. I also had a weird clarity moment with some stuff Lucan mentioned a year ago about movement and stances. I found that I was able to switch lead legs and still establish range and movement. Not sure why more than a year after those classes this would have clicked. Certainly had not been focusing on it or seen signs of it in prior practices. I think that this is what Sean meant when he was talking about moving with purpose and establishing range. Maybe these concepts are starting to get some traction in my brain.